“An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.” – Gandhi
Revenge. So often the theme of a summer blockbuster, spurned lover, jealous co-worker, competitive family member, spiteful classmate. We are encouraged to get “ours”. Sweet revenge. Our whole life – existence even, depends on the single moment in which we get back at those who have wronged us.
It’s sad how society lies so blatantly over and over to us all. Revenge NEVER leads to true happiness. Why? Because our happiness does not rest in the palms of others. Granted, it feels great when the object of our contempt “gets theirs”. However, what if that day never comes? What then? Will we be reduced a scowling sack of bitter flesh n’ bones?
Here are 9 ways to help you find peace and put revenge aside.
1. Realize how revenge consumes you
The stress, over-analyzing, plotting takes up way too much time – time that should be spent being more productive and improving your life.
2. You can’t always get what you want
What is it that you really want? Think about it for a sec. Do you want him to be fired? Do you want her to break his heart? Are you plotting to embarrass him? What happens if the opposite proves true. What if they thrive and succeed? Your happiness will go right out the window.
3. Don’t let others control you
Yes don’t let them control you! How? Go back one step and re-read. Are you obsessing over their every success and failure? Are they in control of your mood? Don’t let them!
4. Think about the repercussions
Though getting revenge might make YOU happy, think about the repercussions. Think about others involved. Revenge is often viewed through a selfish lens.
5. Try to reconcile
Have you tried to reconcile? Do you want to? If you haven’t tried, then what are you waiting for?!! Stop being stubborn! You may be surprised that the whole thing might just be a misunderstanding. However, if you have tried and it was to no avail, take to heart the following.
Forgiving someone is not a weakness. It means being okay with the situation and moving forward. Granted being able to forgive someone may take time – but plan for it. Realize that sometime down the line you will have to forgive. It’s healthy. You don’t want to become a person engulfed in bitterness.
7. Let go
Too often we mistake letting go as completely forgetting. It’s not. To illustrate we can liken letting go to cancer. Would you want to keep a cancerous tumor in your body? Would you wish that treatment and surgeries woudl never end? After beating cancer would you ever completely forget that you had it? Of course the answer to all those questions are no.
From a physical standpoint those questions are ludicrous. But many of us are holding on to our mentally cancer, in fact we cherish them. We have to let go. Purge the cancerous tumor of anger and hate out of minds. We would not want to repunish ourselves by dwelling on the past and the pain we suffered. Just like a person who has beat cancer we need to move forward in our lives. Not forgetting what has happened but realizing and admitting that yes, our lives have changed but we are still around. We are survivors. Are there is so much more to life.
8. Focus on the positive
Life could always be worse. You don’t think so? Just ask any of the residents at the local cemetery. Focus on what you have and not vice versa. Appreciate every day for it is a gift.
9. Fight the cycle
Stay away from “victim mode”. What is “victim mode” you ask? It’s the process of constantly discovering new ways in which people are trying to hurt you. Sure that guy cut you off in traffic BUT I assure you, the entire universe is not after you. If you stay away from “victim mode” you wil find your life to be much happier and peaceful.
What are some ways you have found peace? Let me know, I would love to hear them. Thanks! 🙂