“A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.” – H. L. Mencken

What is cynicism? It is an attitude characterized by the inability to trust others and view themselves or others in a negative light. Wikipedia breaks up this word in three parts:

Social cynicism
Social cynicism results from excessively high expectations concerning society, institutions and authorities. Unfulfilled expectations lead to disappointment, which releases feelings of disillusionment and betrayal.

Occupational cynicism
Occupational cynicism consists of cynical attitudes in relation to aspects of one’s own work, leading to a loss of pride and respect concerning oneself in relation to one’s own work.

Organizational cynicism
Organizational cynicism manifests itself as a general or specific attitude, characterized by frustration, hopelessness, disillusionment and distrust in regard to economic organizations, managers and/or other aspects of work.

While human nature may be imperfect, it does not mean that there are not genuine people out there. Failure or unfulfilled expectations does not mean that it’s the end or permanent. People may fail us, but it doesn’t mean everyone will. What do you think about cynicism? Please share.

• Interview with Noah Kagan – The Amusing Entrepreneur
• Interview with Neil Patel – Internet Marketing Guru
• Interview with Vered – A Mother Knows Best
• Positivity – Quote from W. Clement Stone
• Interview with Jimmy Wales – The Knowledge Benefactor

I’ve decided to support a couple key blogs instead of the torrent from Digg and Reddit. I’m very happy so far with this decision.

Also cleaned up Tivate a bit to make it look cleaner and more friendly. It feels good to get rid of unnecessary cruft.

• What I’ve Learned – Just Ask
• We are on StumbleUpon, WAHOO!!!
• Under the Hood: Part One – Server Hardware
• Try Something New – Eat Healthier
• Interview with Noah Kagan – The Amusing Entrepreneur

“An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.” – Gandhi

Revenge. So often the theme of a summer blockbuster, spurned lover, jealous co-worker, competitive family member, spiteful classmate. We are encouraged to get “ours”. Sweet revenge. Our whole life – existence even, depends on the single moment in which we get back at those who have wronged us.

It’s sad how society lies so blatantly over and over to us all. Revenge NEVER leads to true happiness. Why? Because our happiness does not rest in the palms of others. Granted, it feels great when the object of our contempt “gets theirs”. However, what if that day never comes? What then? Will we be reduced a scowling sack of bitter flesh n’ bones?

Here are 9 ways to help you find peace and put revenge aside.

1. Realize how revenge consumes you
The stress, over-analyzing, plotting takes up way too much time – time that should be spent being more productive and improving your life.

2. You can’t always get what you want
What is it that you really want? Think about it for a sec. Do you want him to be fired? Do you want her to break his heart? Are you plotting to embarrass him? What happens if the opposite proves true. What if they thrive and succeed? Your happiness will go right out the window.

3. Don’t let others control you
Yes don’t let them control you! How? Go back one step and re-read. Are you obsessing over their every success and failure? Are they in control of your mood? Don’t let them!

4. Think about the repercussions
Though getting revenge might make YOU happy, think about the repercussions. Think about others involved. Revenge is often viewed through a selfish lens.

5. Try to reconcile
Have you tried to reconcile? Do you want to? If you haven’t tried, then what are you waiting for?!! Stop being stubborn! You may be surprised that the whole thing might just be a misunderstanding. However, if you have tried and it was to no avail, take to heart the following.

6. Forgive
Forgiving someone is not a weakness. It means being okay with the situation and moving forward. Granted being able to forgive someone may take time – but plan for it. Realize that sometime down the line you will have to forgive. It’s healthy. You don’t want to become a person engulfed in bitterness.

7. Let go
Too often we mistake letting go as completely forgetting. It’s not. To illustrate we can liken letting go to cancer. Would you want to keep a cancerous tumor in your body? Would you wish that treatment and surgeries woudl never end? After beating cancer would you ever completely forget that you had it? Of course the answer to all those questions are no.

From a physical standpoint those questions are ludicrous. But many of us are holding on to our mentally cancer, in fact we cherish them. We have to let go. Purge the cancerous tumor of anger and hate out of minds. We would not want to repunish ourselves by dwelling on the past and the pain we suffered. Just like a person who has beat cancer we need to move forward in our lives. Not forgetting what has happened but realizing and admitting that yes, our lives have changed but we are still around. We are survivors. Are there is so much more to life.

8. Focus on the positive
Life could always be worse. You don’t think so? Just ask any of the residents at the local cemetery. Focus on what you have and not vice versa. Appreciate every day for it is a gift.

9. Fight the cycle
Stay away from “victim mode”. What is “victim mode” you ask? It’s the process of constantly discovering new ways in which people are trying to hurt you. Sure that guy cut you off in traffic BUT I assure you, the entire universe is not after you. If you stay away from “victim mode” you wil find your life to be much happier and peaceful.

What are some ways you have found peace? Let me know, I would love to hear them. Thanks!

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• Guess Whose Smile – November 3, 2008
• Guess Whose Smile – November 10, 2008
• Guess Who’s Smiling – June 30, 2008
• Guess Who’s Smiling – July 7, 2008
• Guess Who’s Smiling – July 14, 2008

• An Wang – The Focused Inventor
• Try Something New – Be a Courteous Driver
• Interview with Vered – A Mother Knows Best
• Word of the Day:: Acceptance
• True to Yourself – Quote from Richard David Bach

• Ambition – Quote from William Blake
• Helping Hand [pic]
• Heart Hands
• Put on a smiling face… [pic]
• Our Direction [pic]

If you are inspired as I am with Dancing with the Stars, why not take a dance class? If that’s not your scene, why not make a little space in your living room, play some good tunes and groove to the music? You don’t have to go professional, keep it simple. Dancing is a good way to let off some steam and relax. There’s many health benefits as well. 

According to Sixwise.com, dancing can help you:

• Burn calories
• Reduce stress
• Increase Energy 
• Improve strength
• Increase muscle tone and coordination 

One great interesting point is that dancing was found to be the only physical activity (out of 11 others in a study) to be associated with lowering the risk of dementia. This is because dancing is not only a physical activity, but it is also a social one. Engaging in such social activity leads to less stress and feelings of loneliness and depression. It also requires memorizing dance moves, which keep the brain active. If you’d like more information about the benefits of dancing please visit Sixwise.com!

What’s your favorite dance move? Please share!

• Try Something New – Eat Healthier
• 9 Ways to Find Peace through Revenge
• Take Risks – Quote from T.S. Eliot
• Taking Risks – Quote from Thomas J. Watson
• Failure – Quote from Roger von Oech

• Guess Whose Smile – November 3, 2008
• Guess Who’s Smiling – November 17, 2008
• Guess Whose Smile – August 4, 2008
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My favorite site that I visit regularly is Momgrind.com. The writer, Vered, is an amazing woman. She’s not afraid to speak her mind, and she really expresses herself in ways that a reader can relate. I recently started writing articles for Tivate.com but I lacked experience. Since Vered was my favorite blogger, I reached out to her. I decided to email her to ask her for help. I was nervous at first. I thought, “Why would she want to help me?” I mustered up the courage and after many proofreads, I sent the email asking for advice on becoming a better writer/blogger. Can you guess the outcome?

Vered replied back with so many great suggestions. She shared with me points that I had not even considered. I took her advice and I would like to share some of that advice with you:

Hi Christina,

My best advice would be to decide what the general direction of Tivate is
and then write articles that relate to that general direction. So, if
Tivate is about self development, then your recent article about breaking
free from a shopping addiction is great, as would be any article that
deals with improving oneself and becoming a better person…

You can find more of Vered’s advice on Momgrind.com under “How to Get More Blog Subscribers.” Don’t be afraid to ask. You just might get the answer you need. 

• Interview with Vered – A Mother Knows Best
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• We are on StumbleUpon, WAHOO!!!
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• Under the Hood: Part One – Server Hardware

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• Be Adaptable, quote from Bruce Lee
• Under the Hood: Part One – Server Hardware
• True to Yourself – Quote from Richard David Bach
• Goals – Quote from Tony Robbins
• Interview with Jimmy Wales – The Knowledge Benefactor